I've been spending time in contemplation. I've done some pondering and naval gazing in my time, but this one feels more important than some of those others.
This whole thing with work has me really thinking. I am so quick to spout off about living in the moment ... appreciate the today ... make the most out of every minute given to you ... I'm the queen of corn when it comes to those cliche feel good sayings.
But do I do it myself?
Sometimes. Not so much of late though.
I have been very consumed with getting ahead at work. I have been busily attaching importance to a job title, rate of pay and perceived level of prestige within the organization. Which is really a hoot because I'm also the first one to say that I'd rather have personal power over position power any day ~ and I like to think that I do have personal power.
I've been so consumed with getting ahead at work that when I'm not at the office, I'm here perched in front of the computer, doing work, or preparing my entrance package to the academic program I'm considering.
I have stepped out of the other parts of my life in order to pay attention to work.
I haven't been to see my parents in weeks. I have missed suppers with my husband and the kids because I was needed at work. I haven't read a trashy novel in so long.
Now HB and I have been trying to work through this latest to figure out what the lesson is together. He proposes that perhaps I'm meant to, once again, be a pioneer and stand up for "what's right" with regard to the recent decisions that were made. He's got a strongly possible point there.
I'm thinking that perhaps I'm meant to learn that my job is just that - a job. It should last somewhere around the 8 hours I'm paid for each day, and not consume too much more of my life outside of the normal preparations associated with that job. Besides, I'm tired of pioneering. I have been the poster child for so many causes throughout my life and frankly, I'm tired.
So this morning I verbalized to HB what I think might actually be a decision I'm comfortable with around this whole situation. I'm going to finish out my current assignment and then return to my home position. I'm going to do the work associated with that home assignment, but when the day ends at the normal time, I will be going home. I'm buying a lunch bag so I won't have the excuse of needing a briefcase to carry my lunch in ~ because I always managed to include work in that briefcase. Work will stay at work for a while. And I'm going to reclaim my life. I'll take the next while in my home position to continue naval gazing for a while and make some decisions about where to, if anywhere, from here.
This decision feels right. For once.
5 comments:
It sounds like you've really put some thought - and perspective - into this decision. And it sounds like you're perfectly happy with it.
Which is as it should be. I'm excited for what you'll rediscover.
Putting all my angst down on paper (or virtual paper) always helps me, I guess that's why we are bloggers. It works it's way through the mind and out your mouth in a conversation with HB, and now you have a decision you feel comfortable with. That's all we can hope for in this crazy corporate world.
Bravo......BRAVO!!!!!!
That sounds like an awesome plan.
Sounds great! I used to be on the fast track myself - I used to have a "career". Now, I just have a "job", and I've never been happier.
Love your blog- and I've been through the same thing. Remember that at the end of your life, your career will not be what sustains you. It will be the relationships and personal experiences you've had that will define your time on earth. I feel so sad for people who waste all their time on a career- on a workplace that spits them out when they're too old or sick to continue producing.
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