Better today

I think Friday's post was an absolute and true blog journal entry. I vented and it felt good! I had to get all that crap out so that I could deal. Just after I had blogged, my husband called ~ I had left a message on his cell and he could tell from my verrrrry controlled tone of voice that something was up. I heard his voice and just let go. God love him. He was standing in the middle of a deli, trying to get his lunch so that he could eat in the car on his way between assignments, but he left all of that to listen to me. I did end up calling and leaving a voice mail message for the person I met with, and she returned my call. I had a couple of very specific questions based on the fact that I was screened in for a position at that level several years ago, was interviewed and in fact was the second choice candidate. My references had been checked, and had the top candidate not accepted, I would have been offered the job. She wasn't in the organization at the time and hadn't been aware of that history ~ she left a message saying that she was absolutely going to check into it. I want to clarify that although I felt very screwed over on Friday, I do very much love where I work. They have in fact been good to me ~ mind you, I work hard for them ~ but I do know that I have the personal support of the very senior team there. I also believe that if there is a way for them to help me, it will happen. They have offered to assist with my degree, both in time and money. I just don't know if I have the energy to pursue it is all. Again ~ I just need to consider some options and try to figure out what the master plan is here for me in all of this.

We just finished watching The_5_People_You_Meet_In_Heaven and it was a half box tissue movie for me. A simple message but powerful, and for me, was very reinforcing. I truly do believe that things happen for a reason in my life. I know that I have a responsibility to take the appropriate human action, but I do believe that there is a master plan. I'm just really not patient at waiting to find out what the lesson is for me.

Today is our first wedding anniversary. We're not big gift exchangers and we're kind of broke right now anyhow, what with replacing our front deck and getting everyone registered for all the summer activities that this family is involved in, so there were no gifts exchanged. I am a crafty little bitch though, and so I did make HB a card and wrote him a love letter. Just reflected on the gift of our friendship and how grateful I am for my life today. The best gift was seeing the tears that the letter brought to his eyes. I am so in love with and loved by this man ~ and am so grateful for the gift of our marriage. I truly know that there is nothing we cannot deal with together. We just bring out the best in each other.

Oh yeah. Cycle day 30, 10 dpo. Negative test this morning. It's all ok.