Saturday, December 18, 2004

Scared and Excited

Today is day 31 of this cycle. Which means that I could start my period and my new cycle any day. Which also means I start the clomid on day 3, and we're off to the races.

We had such a lousy start to our day today, which was based on a lot of bottled up stuff I had been keeping inside, that I truly questioned whether we should be doing this or not. Again. My questioning today was based on the fact that lately I just feel like my husband and I have been off in so many directions we haven't had time for each other. Do we have time for a child?

Am I just stalling?

Am I terrified?

Am I petrified it will work and that I will miscarry again?

What if we actually carry a baby to term and have a new family member?

It's what I want and what scares me the most, all at the same time.

1 comment:

Julianna said...

Hang in there. Best wishes.