Pretty is as pretty does

When I first met HB, I was a size 10 ... cute as a button. HB had been separated from Knothead for quite a while, but had not dated one single soul. Now what's important to know about Knothead is that she is incredibly self-centered, materialistic and really believes that she is superior to the rest of the world. No one measures up to the standards of either her or her family.

It took him almost a full year to tell me this story ~ but I'm awfully glad we have the kind of relationship that can withstand these stories now if only because it makes what happened today so much sweeter. When he told Knothead that he had met someone, she immediately responded with "well, she can't be better than me", a typical response for her. HB (who really should be a foreign diplomat someday I think) gave the perfect response when he said "she's different than you". She pressed on ... wanting to know what the differences were...and thus began HB's descent into the land of "I have something I will hold over your head forever".

His response?

"Well, she' s a little chubby."

Chubby. At size 10.

Trust me ~ we've had some good chuckles over that especially since I have put on so much weight since he made that comment. A serious amount of weight - like 50 lbs. I gave him chubby alright!

A few months after we had lost the baby, she came to the house to pick the kids up one Sunday. HB told me later that on the walk out to the car, she had asked him if I was pregnant again because my stomach was still so big. She sucks every ounce of Christianity out of me some days.

We've been really struggling to figure out why both Frodo and Mini-Me are getting so thick and such bellies on them. We really watch what comes into the house here and outside of Oreo cookies, there's no junk here. They eat a lot of fresh fruit and yogurt, and although they both eat healthy portions at meals, they also play hockey, roller blade, paddle ~ constantly active in some form of sport. HB is in great shape and doesn't have to watch what he eats. Jerk. Now I don't actually see Knothead very often and truthfully, after a few years now, have moved beyond that not-so-subtle checking her out thing that most of us women tend to do with our partner's ex. I do know that she has struggled with her weight in the past, but my impression was that she had a handle on it now.

Today I had to stop by her place to pick up Frodo's backpack and homework. I pulled in and she was in the driveway vacuuming her car out...wearing sweats and a tshirt. She stood up and oh. my. gawd.

I get where the thickness is coming from now. She is a solid woman! And it does look as if she's put on weight in the last while.

Am I that shallow that I took got great joy in that discovery?

You betchya.

I'll give ya chubby. Made my day it did. Might even make my week.