Tuesday, August 30, 2005

My Life As a Soap Star

I have to speak tomorrow night, and I'm struggling to figure out what to say. This is a community of people who, for the most part, know and love me. But really...I've had the most interesting month, and am trying to figure out:
  1. how to cram it all into 10 minutes
  2. how to tell it all and have people actually believe that this is my life
  3. how to relate it to the point of the talk for the group.

To top it all off, my rock isn't even going to be there with me when I speak! He left this morning for a week in Montreal at the national_canoe_championships . A week! We went back and forth over whether we could afford for him to go, but in the end, decided to suck it up and find a way for him to go. I just wish that I could be there to see him race ~ he is such an amazing athlete.

But now back to me. I have to figure out what I'm going to say tomorrow night! This talk is supposed to focus on the last month of my life, what's happened, and how I've been dealing with it as a person of faith. Let's see...what has happened in the last month....

  • Knothead pitched a screaming fit over the phone, in front of the kids, on the youngest's 8th birthday, calling my husband a crack addict and his mother a whore;
  • the people across the street came over and accused me of stealing from my next door neighbour's garden (I had been given permission to take a few slips from the garden but made the unfortunate decision to not take them while they were still present to verify their permission);
  • my next door neighbours got their fifth dog (that's five all at once...not fifth of a succession of dogs), and my dawgs promptly got kennel cough, resulting in two vet visits and meds at a total cost of $300;
  • the kids have been taking turns attempting to drive their father and I crazy;
  • my direct supervisor at work has continued to beat me down, with her latest show being to tell me that I have wasted six months of her time, but congratulating me on the good work I've done with revamping and leading the Employee Recognition Program (oh the irony);
  • I've been turned down for interviews for three jobs I was really interested in; and
  • yet another failed cycle in July but no result yet for August.

How do I cram all that into 10 minutes and have people believe it really happened???

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

and just wait for the f"irst person to say something like: G-d doesn't hand you more than you can deal with," or "everything happens for a reason" I suggest you punch them on the nose when they do.

Donna said...

Wow, that's a lot to cram into ten minutes. These are all the crappy things that have happened. Maybe it would be shorter to talk about the good things. Now isn't that a kick in the pants.