No go. Woke up this morning and tried to continue to be hopeful by thinking perhaps it's implantation bleeding ~ but that's not the case.
I don't know if I want to keep on this road. This morning, even HB, who is the one who wanted a hockey team of kids, said he had some second thoughts the other day. He quickly qualified it by saying he knows it was just a moment of selfishness and self centredness kicking in, and that he would be delighted if we manage to conceive ... but the fact that he voiced thoughts gave me pause.
If we conceived this year, I would be 43 when the child arrives. Which means that I'd be retired and on pension by the time he/she is in high school and moving on to post-secondary. Would we have the energy to live life fully with this child or would we be doing a disservice to him/her? I look at what we do with Frodo and Mini-Me now at ages 7 & 9. We camp, paddle, play hockey, video games, walk, take trips ... the list goes on and on but then again, we have relative youth and energy on our side right now. Would we still have that when we're in our fifties and what if we don't?
I'm sad and confused.
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6 comments:
I'm so sorry.
My grandmother was 46 when she had my mother and she is the grandmother who I had the fondest memories of and who lived the longest (died at 99). My mother never had any issues about her mother being SO much older than everyone else's mother.
Thinking of you.
I'm sorry you are sad and confused...this whole business is way too hard. If you want another success story, my Dad had a son at 57 and today at 72 he's still a scout leader, etc. The future will take care of itself. If you want a baby, you should try to have a baby. Thinking of you.
I'll just chime in here with everyone else. My husband was 44 when our son was born (after 12 years of infertility). He has no problem at all keeping up with a 3-year-old. He's in great shape physically and emotionally and has even suggested that we try for another soon - I just hope it doesn't take 12 years again, 'cause that would be pushing it.
Thanks for the comments and Spring, that wasn't assvice! I will check into it...thanks. We've decided we will use nothing other than a medicated route for reasons I won't get into here. To save you trying to figure out my whole journey with infertility, I'll just say that I've been on the road since 1994 or so. Have had all the tests and there is no physical reason why I shouldn't or can't conceive. And it would seem that I don't have trouble conceiving. I do have trouble carrying to term. However...I have decided to call the clinic this week and go in for an appointment. There must be something more I can be doing in addition to this 'take a pill get pregnant' route.
Sweetie I'm sorry that you're in a bad place. I agree with everyone else re age. My godmother married again when she was in her late 30s and her husband was only 25. But it turned out that he couldn't have children while she was still fertile. They ended up adopting twins from korea after a long time of trying to find a baby (including one adoption that fell through at the last minute). She was 43 or 44 when the twins arrived. I know there were a few cries of "why are you so much older than the other mothers" but no more so than you'd get something like "but all the other mothers let the kids ride their bikes on the main road" anyway.
It doesn't have to be too late for you, but if you decide that the steps will be your charges, we all know that you will parent them beautifully.
Hi Stephanie...and welcome. Thanks for sharing part of your journey here....and I wish you all the best on the big decisions that lay ahead for you and your husband. We've been those routes already and as you say, what's right for us, is to continue on the clomid route for a few more months. If that doesn't work, I'll be hanging up my infertility running shoes altogether. And that's cool. (I lie good don't I???)
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