Mother Rant

Everything, and I mean E V E R Y T H I N G is either irritating me or making me weep the last few days. I'm guessing it's the clomid, and I'm not sure I'm liking who I'm turning into as a result.

My mother just called. We're going there for Easter dinner in a few hours. They live about an hour away from us, and are both in their mid 70's. Every once in a while I get to feeling very guilty for not spending more time with them because I know there will come a day when I won't have the option of driving up for dinner.

Mom doesn't get my infertility or our desire to have a child. Conversations with Mom about my infertility (always, by the way, started by her), go something like this:

Mom: So, you still on those pills?
Moi: Yep.
Mom: Well, how long are you going to do that?
Moi: Probably until we manage to either get pregnant or move through the full 10 months of the prescription without luck. Whatever comes first.
Mom: Well, I hope you don't have any more miscarriages. It's hard on everyone you know.
Moi: (trying hard to censor all the head voices at this point) Yeah. We're kinda hoping for no more miscarriages too Mom. (duh! ok, one head voice gets out but only in a non-verbal way)
Mom: So you're sure you're not starting your change eh?
Moi: yeah Mom, pretty sure. The doctors say I'm not even close.
Mom: well, I'd have them check again. I started at your age you know.
Moi: well Mom, I've had the tests twice now and they continue to show that I am not peri-menopausal.
Mom: yeah, but do they tell you if you're starting the change?

and then today we move onto the other favourite subject. My weight and my weight loss plans.

Mom: So have you figured out what you're going to be able to eat for dinner yet?
Moi: yes. I have my points all calculated for today.
Mom: guess you won't want this easter bunny I bought for you then.
Moi: (wtf???? who buys their overweight daughter an easter bunny when they know she's just started WW???) (oops....head voice again....) No Mom, but I will give it to the kids for you. Thanks for doing that.
Mom: but you can have the dessert I've made. Your sister says it's only8 points a serving.
Moi: (ok, starting to understand where my freaking weight problem came from here Ma!!!) (oops....frigging head voice...stop!). No Mom, I'm planning to pass on the dessert tonight.
Mom: but you can't do that! It's so good! You'll have to have just one piece. 8 points isn't much1
Moi: (You're hormonal....it's just the hormones talking. You really don't want to shove your mother's face in her dessert bowl now do you???) Thanks Mom, but I'm really planning to pass. I need to get myself a little more in control before I start back with desserts.
Mom: But you know, WW isn't supposed to be a DIET. It's supposed to be a WAY OF LIFE. Desserts are part of LIFE.

I love her dearly but man, I need to get my game face on to deal with her sometimes. Being on these pills is not helping.

On another very sad note, I've been meaning to share this obituary that was in our local paper. I found their website and viewed their before pregnancy pictures of trips and stuff. No one should have to suffer the loss of their child, and I was very touched by the celebration of their son's short life described in the obituary. I'm keeping them in my prayers.