Faith

Today is a better day. I have been trying to use up vacation time that I will lose if it's not gone by the end of March, so have been taking a day here...a day there. Mostly using them to sit around in my sweats and do nothing. Today is one of those days. There are torrential downpours outside, making it a particularly good day to do this thing called nothing.

I've been really cruising other blogs of late. The dialogue at Cecily's blog about Christ was particularly inspiring to me, and I am impressed at how we've been able to have a shared discussion on faith without bashing each other. Maybe we're growing up after all eh?

Cecily's post and the comments that followed really have me reflecting on my faith life. HB and I are both very strong christians. Yes, that involves having a formal religious affiliation for us. More importantly, in my opinion, it involves being good people. We both belong to the Cursillo community which encourages us to live lives of piety, study and action. Piety is defined as directing your whole life to God...or goodness. Study means just that - studying. Not so much in the formal sense of the 'read the bible' kind of way, but rather study life. Pray. Discern. Meditate. Be a part of the song! And then there is action. Because to have all of this and do nothing with it is selfish. I don't do many of the 'big' things. I do try to engage in some kind of action outside of myself every day though ... and not in any planned way. I just try to recognize opportunities that are presented to me. I'm always grateful for those folks that do the 'big' things like feeding the hungry at soup kitchens and the like. Right now that doesn't feel like it's my calling. I'm still working on those opportunities in my own environment ~ or as I've heard it called, the everyday market of my own life!

HB is a great formal student. He wakes every morning and spends at least 30 minutes in prayer and study at the kitchen table. People are attracted to him, and he loves people. A man that we both know came to me a few weeks ago to tell me how much he loves being around HB. He said when HB listens, you really know you've been heard, because for the time he's listening to you, you are the only person in his world. What a gift that is for me every day of my life with him.

I, on the other hand, tend to be more of an informal student. I study people. I sit and think a lot. I talk to the God of my understanding ~ I do a lot of that in the car, which I'm sure makes people look at me funny.

It's been said that the distance between a person's head and her heart is as great as the distance between the earth and the surface of the moon. Sometimes that's what I feel like when we get into discussions about faith and Christianity. That I can engage intellectually, but to really open up and share what's in my heart is such a risk.

I hope that someday I can get there. In the meantime, I'm going to keep living my life, trying to be the best person I can be and being kind to others ... not because it's going to get me somewhere but because life is just so much more pleasant when I live it that way.