I play games with myself. If I can lose 5 lbs, I'll get pregnant. If I'm really really nice to all the evil people in my life, I'll be rewarded with a baby. If I really play the star light, star bright game honestly and wish upon what is truly the first star I see tonight, we'll conceive.
And this week it was convincing myself that since the world had lost my friend Sylvia, and I was on day 35 of this long cycle, surely that meant I was carrying the soul that was meant to enter the world as my friend's earthly body left.
What a load of bunk. I came home from her funeral yesterday and started my period.
I really have to get my head into reality.
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