We have wanted a baby for as long as we've been together. Odd as it sounds, now that we're on the cusp of starting clomid, I think we're both doing the serious double-take.
We have settled into a pretty comfortable routine, and last night as we spontaneously went out for a late dinner, we realized that our lives will change forever if this works.
I feel awful and selfish for questioning whether or not this is right for us....for me. I haven't picked up the prescription from the drug store yet. I can't believe I'm questioning this after everything we've discussed, thought about, prayed for and set our sights on.
I have to wonder whether my goal has been pregnancy or a baby. They are two very different goals.
Why does this have to be so difficult?
About Me
- Sandy
- I am married to my best friend. We once again have two, huge, drooling, loving dawgs. I have a job that I love most of the time. I'm blessed with awesome friends and family. I thought that what was missing was coming to terms with the fact that I am not going to be a biological mother. I realize now that I'm at terms with it, and am concentrating on being a kick ass evil stepmother, awesome wife, incredible friend and having an all-round meaningful life every single day.
Blogging since 2004
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2 comments:
I think it's normal to question it. I do it too now that my son is 12 and independent(of sorts). But I've been telling myself that I would do it again and do it right(L&D) and when I suffer doubts I just picture my husband with a baby in his arms and I melt.
Hi Sandy,
I can't believe it's taken me so long to find your blog. My excuse involves a technical deficiency, which I'm too embarrassed to explain further. Suffice it to say, I'm glad I know where to keep up with you now!
I, too, think your ambiguous feelings are perfectly par for the course. You'll know what to do when it comes right down to the wire.
In the meantime, we'll be here waiting for the next installment.
Julia
Uncommon Misconception
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