I'm on my way....

There's a song by the Proclaimers that goes "I'm on the way from misery to happiness again". My hubby's band always dedicates it to me whenever they play it ... and it's in my head big time today.

Because we're on our way. Whether it's to misery or happiness, or a bit of both, yet to be determined.

We came home yesterday to receive a letter giving us our appointment time for the fertility clinic. Thursday, November 21st at 9:15 a.m.

The letter was a trip in itself. An obvious form letter, it's addressed to me only and does the Dear First Name Last Name thing, which always cracks me up. It goes on to tell us that we're being seen by Dr. Dr. So-and-So (must be really qualified!) and is signed lovingly by, and I quote, "The Fertility Clinic". So not only is infertility a living organism in my life, apparently The Fertility Clinic is a living, breathing, letter writing being as well!

Attached to the letter were two questionnaires, colour coded pink and blue just in case we couldn't figure it out I guess. Hubby's was two pages. Mine was EIGHT pages long!

So here's the thing I'm most stressed about with this referral. I was married (just for a minute, by mistake) before and we were fixated on getting pregnant. I don't think I really understood that there would be a baby as a result of any pregnancy, but I was married, and married people got pregnant, right? After a year of no success, my doctor referred me to the fertility clinic ... the same one we're going to this month.

Now this is going to sound silly, but my real husband (the one I should have waited for!) hates it whenever someone asks me if I ever went by the last name Asshole (not my real former married name but a good description of it's owner!) and it causes stress between us. I know it's silly, and we've had a few arguments about it. There are times when I can't control this happening, and links with medical records are one of those times. It happened when we were at this hospital during our pregnancy and loss two years ago, and it drove him crazy. I even went so far as to call the medical records section afterward and ask them to please link my files together and not ask if I ever went by that surname ... find another way to know that I did and move on! So of course now we have to go together on the 21st, and my surname has changed again. We have married since our pregnancy, and I have to go through all the change the name thing again with them.

Oh...the silly things we focus on when we're trying not to stress about what might happen regarding the infertility battle. So I really am on my way from misery to happiness again ... or am I on my way from happiness to misery? I'm not sure.