Rollercoaster riding....

This week has been a rollercoaster ride. Today is cd 28 and not even a twinge of a symptom either way. Hubby has gone away for the weekend. He plays in a band, and they have a weekend gig at a golf resort on Prince Edward Island. I love the initial feeling of having the house to myself, but it generally only lasts about one evening, and then I'm missing him like crazy. Especially after a week like this one!

I had the day from hell at work yesterday. Love my job, and I've worked hard to get to where I am in the organization. When I returned from my sick leave after the m/c in October 2002, I was asked to take on a senior management role on an acting basis. I was glad to have the opportunity, and although it was only supposed to last for three months, I am still acting in the position. The person that the position actually belongs to had been away on a secondment, and it seems will be returning to our department around the end of October. We've worked together in various configurations for almost 20 years, and I was fine with the return.

Until yesterday.

When I got called into my superior's office (who can be a real, to quote other blogs, asshat) and presented with a new draft organizational chart.

It seems the powers that be have been huddled behind closed doors...busily reorganizing our entire department. My true position is "manager" of the section of which I am currently acting director. So this reorganized 'vision' would see my section reduced from a staff complement of 12 to 7, the manager role technically eliminated and converted to a program coordinator role...but (this is the good part)...none of the work or responsibilities removed. No one will technically lose a job as they will be placed elsewhere in the organization.

And the task I was presented with was to decide who goes, who stays, and how the work will be divided up.

Including placing myself somewhere in this new configuration.

Interesting position to be placed in. Redefine the division I currently 'direct', knowing that someone else is coming back to the director role, and placing myself two rungs down on the organizational ladder...back to where I was 10 years ago position wise.

And smile the whole time. Nothing like being a good civil servant.

Then on the way home today, I stopped at the vet's to pick up dawg food. I love the vet we take the dawgs to ... she is a kindred spirit. In April of last year she and her husband suffered a miscarriage as well. Now I haven't been in recently because hubby has been on pooch food patrol, so haven't seen her. She hesitantly shared her news with me that she is 5 1/2 months pregnant. I had that mixed delight feeling, and hated that she had to feel hesitant about sharing her good news with me, although another part of me appreciated her sensitivity. I just hate that loss and infertility has impacted us this way! While I was there, someone brought a dog in that had been hit by a car. They were crying...the dawg looked so forlorn...glassy eyes and just sort of staring...scared...and I couldn't handle it. I left in tears. Again.

Only to get home to receive a phone call from my sister telling me our mom had been taken to emergency with chest pains. They released her, and she's fine, but it was still a wake up call.

I always did hate roller coasters.