I'd rather dream of pickles....

Weird dream time.


I don't often remember my dreams. Except for that one where a group of Hell's Angels took over my house, pulling up in camper trailers and dressed in farmer's overalls. It was a long dream that was very detailed and involved my running to a friend's house (a mansion located on the same street as my dreary little duplex), asking for a place to hide out while the Hell's Angels were busily tilling the land behind my house. She brought me in but told me I could only stay 30 minutes, have one hot dog and then had to return to my place because it was her daughter's birthday. I actually had that one analyzed by a friend who does dream analysis as part of her psychotherapy practice.


But this morning I woke up ... well I was nudged up by the dawgs who don't realize that I'm allowed to sleep in on Sundays and get concerned if I'm not out of bed by 6:30 every morning .... unless hubby is home and then I'm just another time drain on him as far as they're concerned and they'd leave me sleeping until noon ... but I digress.


I woke up this morning with the most vivid recollection of this dream.


Knothead and I were actually in the same place together. I left to go to a coffee shop, and was sitting there with a work colleague, when she walked in with this guy and took the table next to us. She got up to go to the restroom at one point, and took a long trench coat with her, holding it in front of her stomach. The next part of the dream involves me trying to get a look at her stomach.

Flip to she and I being together at my home, where she is in the kitchen, and I'm out front with this guy of hers, loading up a vehicle of some sort. He and I drive somewhere together, and he tells me that yes indeed, Knothead is pregnant. He goes on to say he doesn't know if it's his child, but he doesn't seem too concerned about it.


Flash back to me being magically in the house, where she remains in the kitchen ... cleaning up by placing my dining room table over my kitchen table and having lifted it by herself. I'm joined by a few colleagues from work .... interesting choice of colleagues because they are ones that are particularly supportive of me but wouldn't be folks in my home ... and I'm all concerned because Knothead has been lifting tables, and she's pregnant, although she won't acknowledge it to me. This time I can clearly see the pregnant belly, complete with popped out belly button.


I awoke with this feeling of great concern for her pregnancy and her.


What's with that? I've been trying to figure out the triggers for the dream. A few that come to mind:


At Mass yesterday, the homily was all about letting go of anger and forgiving those who have hurt you ... how when we engage in sinful acts we want mercy for ourselves, but when someone else engages in one, we want justice. I've been holding a lot of anger toward Knothead....

I've been creating another blog that contains the journal hubby and I kept for our baby boy, Brodie. http://journalforbrodie.blogspot.com/ It's been a very healing experience, but has also brought back the experience of being pregnant vividly through the words we both wrote in it.

I've been grappling with whether to go this baby shower today, or to just send my gift.

And then of course, I'm in that really rotten part of my cycle .... day 30 ... that day where you're wondering "ok, did I ovulate this month? Is this just a long cycle? What's going on with my system?" ... and at my age you have to kick in the queries about being peri-menopausal.


Gawd....why can't I just dream about hunky men, or dancing pickles, or skydiving or something?