You know how when you've been living in and with something for so long, and you're consumed with it, and then it finally happens? What comes after that?
I've thought about posting a couple of times, but then I think, about what? I was so consumed with nursing Barkley and then he passed. It was hard, peaceful, challenging, calming ... it just was. It sucked. But it was.
I'm amazed at how at peace I am with it. He was an amazing part of our lives and will always be our first Newfie love. I am getting one of the pictures we took blown up and giving it to HB for Father's Day. We received the call today that his ashes are ready to be picked up. We have friends who have this great piece of land out on the ocean, not too far from where we are, and they are going to let us bury him there. We want to have a little ceremony of some kind - the kids had asked if we could.
We have had some stuff happen of late this is post-worthy, though.
HB's sister and her husband have split up. When I think of a couple that I would say "least likely to split up", it's these two. HB has always said that he and I could have fun in a ditch together, and I would say these two could have that same kind of fun.
He came home one night after their 18th anniversary and basically told her he didn't love her.
It got me thinking, so tonight at supper I asked HB if he thought that could ever happen to us. That's right up there with the "do these pants make my ass look fat" or "which of my girlfriends would you date if I died" questions.
And here is why I love this husband of mine.
He proceeded to tell me about a conversation he had with his 25 year old work out buddy tonight. This young guy is a med student, and a very nice guy who comes over regularly for supper with us. He was telling HB about a party that he's invited to on the weekend. HB jokingly asked him if there was room in the car for an old man like him, and of course, Dr. WorkOut said "Nope...you're too much the life of the party and I want a chance with the women that will be there!!"
My incredible husband looked him in the eye and told him that he wouldn't trade one ounce of the peace, serenity and love he had at home with me for a chance with another woman. He went on to say that he acknowledged that there may be women who have "tighter bodies" (his words) than mine is right now, but that he'd rather wake up to my love and personality every morning instead of falling for a tight body that turns into a bitch in six months.
Now some people might think me weird for loving my husband for saying these kinds of things, but I adore him for saying it! I know I have a weight issue - I've put on 52 lbs since I first met HB. He is a total athlete and in incredible shape. We are oil and water in that way. I'd take the car to walk the dawg if I could, where he thinks nothing of running 20 minutes one way to the store. And yet, he looks at me and loves me - regardless of whether I'm wearing a size 8 or 18. He understands that the weight is my issue, and that I will deal with it when I'm ready to do so. And in the meantime, it just doesn't matter because, as he says, I have the same personality that he fell in love with when I was a size 8.
He told me tonight that he falls in love a little more with me every day we're together.
How can I not feel blessed?
7 comments:
You are a lucky woman. Mine gave up the ghost just before the 17th mile marker. Yup, it was b/c I got fat. The male unit I have now, with all his other faults, doesn't care about weight and wouldn't so much as look elsewhere. You are lucky having that breed. Wish it could be bottled.
I would like to say that although you are lucky, he is lucky to have you. Weight fluctuates and is superficial but a bitch will always be a bitch.
Glad to hear that you are doing well.... I have been thinking of you.
That was a fantastic, very real thing for him to say. Tell him that an internet strangre has a cush on his heart....and soon she'll only be four hours away!
hehehe Krista...I didn't write that but that is EXACTLY what HB said! He told his buddy that he married a tight body the first time and woke up with a bitch. He went on to say that if I so choose, I could always get my tight body back ... but that she could never get a personality! hehehe
He's also quick to say, though, that he's with through thick or thin - tight body or no. Good thing, since I don't think I even had a tight body at birth! hehe
He sounds like a keeper. ;)
So glad that you are back to posting. I have missed you.
My husband says similar things to me so I think, as much as I complain on my blog about him, I will keep him.
Take care and hope to hear more from you soon.
Hearing about someone else's divorce is always scarey. Sounds like your HB is a great guy, it's always nice to get some reassurance.
A good husband is worth more than anything in the world. When divorce enters your world it can widen cracks that are just hairline, or it can fill them in. We are lucky women.
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