Enough of this!

I've been feeling a bit blue lately and couldn't quite put my finger on why, when I realized that had our last pregnancy continued, I would have given birth in the last few weeks. My due date was April 17th.

Instead, I spent the weekend packing up the remaining maternity clothes that I had tried to give away to my neighbour, into yet another set of bags to give to another friend who is pregnant with their seventh child. Seven kids. Wow.

I don't want to be misunderstood. I'm still really in a good place with not having a child of my own. Just a wee bit blue. The other day I also got thinking about Brodie, and realized that had he lived, we would have a four year old running around this house right now.

And that made me realize how long this has been a part of my life. Amazing.

So this weekend will be Mother's Day, and once again I was facing the prospect of travelling up to my parents' place where I would be the servant girl for the dinner since, you know, I'm technically not a mother but my mother and sister both are.

Enough of that! I've decided to take control of the situation. I emailed my mother and have invited her here for Sunday. I'm also going to invite HB's mother, and tonight I'm telling the men that they are taking all three of us out to dinner at new Tai place that has recently opened.

This Thursday HB and I plan to attend a mass that is being held in memory of all babies who have died before birth - for whatever reason. We've never done that, in the five years since this whole ordeal started. In a very weird way I'm looking forward to it.