Today was my mother's 76th birthday. They live about an hour from us, and we don't see them nearly often enough. We drove up today to spend the day with them, and loved every minute of it. We always do. In truth, I think I've married my father. HB is a younger version of Dad. They are like two little boys when they get together - laughing and telling jokes, carrying on. They just bring out the best in each other, and I love to watch it.
There is a part of me that is terrified at the thought of losing my parents. They are both getting so old and it seems to be happening too quickly for me. They have both really aged since my brother's death in 1999 - that was an emotional aging. The kind of aging we're seeing now is totally related to chronological aging. Mom is getting very forgetful. We tease her about it, and she teases herself about it, but it's so hard to watch.
I know that we all face it. The people who were so strong, so sure, so confident, so loving to us are becoming old and preparing themselves to leave this world. I want to drink in every moment with them. I want to remember the good times, and honour them by being the woman they raised me to be. I want to create more good times with them.
My sister suggested that we have Christmas dinner at her house this year and thankfully, no one picked up on it. We're still going to go to Mom and Dad's and do our usual family thing there. Mom doesn't do as much as she used to anymore, by design. She cooks the turkey and supplies dessert. We bring everything else to cut down on the work and to avoid exhausting her. So I'm sure my sister thought she was making a good suggestion - but I'm not ready for that change yet.
I want my little world to stay the way it is for now. I want to keep my head in the sand and pretend that it will always be this way. Just let me stay there for a while longer.