Actually, it really wasn't the worst of times. Reflecting back on the year, I'd have to say it was pretty good overall. We have become very skilled at living in and appreciating the moment - one day at a time.
So...the year in review.....
- We've become stronger as a couple.
- I've made and acted upon my decisions to become healthier in all domains of my life.
- I have assertively dealt with the bullshit at work and had myself moved out of the unhealthy position I was placed in, so that makes my work life much happier.
- I joined and have successfully worked a weight loss program, and am now only 19 lbs away from my goal.
- HB and I are working out four to five times a week together - accomplishing two things at once - me actually getting to the gym and spending time with my awesome husband.
- I am officially half way through the master's program I began in January 2006, and thus far have a straight A average.
- We've spent more time with family and friends this year, and plan to continue to make that a priority.
So all in all, not bad. Not bad at all. May sucked with having to make the decision to put Big Dawg to sleep. Then there was the whole miscarriage in October thing. But even that seemed to have a lesson in it for us. I feel pretty confident now that I don't want to get pregnant again, and also pretty confident that we are exactly where we are intended to be with parenting. I believe we are meant to be here for Frodo and Mini-Me ... something big feels like it's brewing there. And I'm very ok with it all.
And as for our houseguest? HB and I had decided that we were going to ask her to give us a few days here by ourselves when she returned on the 28th, and also that we were going to have a conversation about what her plans were for January and beyond. We rehearsed and practiced - encouraging each other to feel ok but not enabling her to avoid dealing with the real world any longer. HB broached the subject with her when she arrived back here that evening, and her response was simply that she didn't want to talk about it. He told her that he was giving her fair warning that the conversation would indeed take place in a few days.
We left the house at about 9:30 a.m. the next day and she was still in bed. When we got home in the afternoon, there was a card on the kitchen table that had the precise amount of money we had given to her for her airline ticket (which we had intended as a Christmas gift), along with a note. The note basically said that she hoped we didn't think she wasn't appreciative of everything, and that she was giving us some time alone. At first we thought, "how nice". Then we realized that she had packed up every one of her belongings and simply left. We figured out that she is another sister's but there has been no contact at all with us. She still has our housekey, we're not sure what her plans are at all, and we've been denied the opportunity of a discussion with her about it. I just hope she isn't planning to simply waltz back in here now.
It bothers me that she just left like that with no chance for us to talk about what our thoughts were. Who knows what she's thinking or feeling about the whole situation. HB tells me not to worry about it - that she this behaviour is passive-aggressive and this is just another way of her avoiding confrontation....even though we had no intention of being confrontational. We just knew that we had to have a discussion that would have an end date attached to it. It was starting to take too large a toll on us to have a third party in our home and in our marriage all the time.
Another lesson learned in 2006 - HB and I are totally an old married couple now! We understand each other's needs and wants so well we don't even have to talk about it, and when the apple cart is upset, ain't no one happy! Is it bad to be that set in our ways?
So....tonight we will travel up to my parents' place and hang out with them for the new year's celebration. We'll eat chinese food and play silly games. We'll watch my father and HB love each other up and laugh at them together. And we will be thankful for yet another year together, happy, healthy, in love with life and each other.
Happy new year to you.