Lately I have been reflecting on how grateful I am to have the life I live today. For years I journalled, and although I have since thrown those journals out, I often reread entries to the point that they are still etched into my memory. Those entries were most often filled with anger, frustration, pain and emptiness at how disappointed I had allowed others to make me. One of the reasons I have been engaged in this reflection is that I am realizing how completely happy I am in my relationship with HB. He has always said we could have fun in a ditch together....and it's true. He's just so easy to be with - it's not work. In the past, it was always work, and I allowed my happiness to be fully reliant upon another person. Not so much anymore, and HB often tells me that he is having the exact same experience. We just bring about the best in each other, and are happy to see growth, energy, interests, and activities in the other person's life. Holy cow ... we almost sound healthy!
I had a whole post composed that focused on Knothead and her manipulation of the last while. She is a highly negative person who thrives on drama and misery. I erased the seven paragraphs I had written about her and her recent hijinks because I realized that all I was doing was taking her inventory. Instead, I am choosing to focus on the happiness that I experience in my life today, and how grateful I am that I no longer require the drama and hijinks in my life to feel alive.
I am so grateful that I have experienced enough happiness and health to understand that the only person I can change at all is myself. I'm delighted with my husband. I feel no need to change him - well, except maybe the way he piles belongings on every flat surface in our home, but that's not really changing him now is it?